Would you look at that?

I liked the first Bourne movie. I liked it because I love Damon (that should be LOVE, but let’s be subtle and pretend that I am, in fact, objective). I liked it because seeing the sweet puppy-like Matt go around kicking serious ass was a sight to see.

Matt Damon and the LOVE were not enough for me to like Supremacy, and there was no amount of LOVE that could have made me like Ultimatum. Even so, I was giddy as a schoolgirl when I saw the teaser trailer.

How much am I looking forward to it? I’m looking forward to it more than I looked forward to Star Wars (just to clarify I was really looking forward to Star Wars, but I look forward to Jason Bourne the way crazy people like my boyfriend looked forward to Star Wars).

So why on Earth am I looking forward to Jason Bourne (2016) as much as I am?

Let’s get physical.

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See this?

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And this?

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How ’bout this?

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Yes, I’m looking forward to Jason Bourne enough to find time in my busy schedule as a socialite to make gifs. Also, I AM aware that there are other actors in this movie. I, however, do not care.

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What do you plan to do for the next couple of days?

Yes, this is a post in which the author (moi) will tell you how you should spend your free time in other to improve the quality of your life. I, however, will not list five things that you should do tomorrow to feel more energetic. I will not give you a map to a killer bod in two weeks. I’ll not make you a calendar in which you have to see one play, one movie, visit one art exhibition and read at least one edifying book that’ll change your perception or make you wonder about the realities of life and whether the term reality should even have a singular form. I will, however, offer a temporary fix. A piece or really high-quality duct tape.

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I will also wax philosophical about nothing for a while, because a post has to have some content to it and I seem to be lacking the words to write a deserving review of Billions.

What I’m trying to say here is, you should really drop your plans and take up watching Billions, because it’s awesome. Because, you won’t be able not to love the story in which two guys with huge egos get in a pissing contest. Why would you love a thing like that, you wonder? There’s Damian Lewis in it, for starters, and he’s disgustingly good. Then there’s Paul Giamatti who gives Damien a run for his money. A single conversation between them will give you more of a thrill than any sequence from a superhero movie. Billions will make you see you don’t need gunshots fired, cars smashed and entire buildings blown up to be on the edge of your seat. Oh yeah, and there’s money, sex, S&M, hot women, fast cars, boats, helicopters, money, and Damian Lewis. And he swears a lot, which is weird. But you’ll get used to it.

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