The Wind

It always starts with the wind. 

With the rustle of the leaves, the silent anger of Mother Nature.

The noise seems to die off. Things become clearer, more focused, as the silence brought on by the howling encompasses the world.

I have nothing. No characters, no plot. Just a strange sense of calm, before an inevitable storm. I can feel the thunder in the air. Even before it strikes, I can feel its rumble, I can see the sudden flash of light. Something awakens, some strange inspiration.

Deep in the dark of the night, broken by flashes of violence, lurks something new. The air is electric and I can feel life in its primordial form; wild and untamed, complex and beyond comprehension.

The need to explain is not present, because the cold caress of wind against my skin, the blinding light of the storm brings about understanding which defies explanation and nullifies all but pure existence.

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A calm washes over me and a new life begins to form. Words and worlds appear, waiting to be crushed under the trivialities of reality.

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Fallen Too Far

I know you’re bound to wonder why the fuck I decided to read this book, but frankly I’m not in the mood to explain my current life situation which lead me astray. Suffice it to say, I’ve been having a rough couple of months and it started to show on my general psychological state. I googled summer+romance+book and this one was among those that Google pooped out. So blame it on Google.

I’m not gonna write a review. For the first time (possibly ever?) I’m gonna summarize an entire book, trying not to be judgmental or make any sort of opinion about it.

Fallen Too Far by Abbi Glines tells a story about a nineteen year old Blaire who sets off to join her estranged father after the death of her mother. She’s a competent, no-nonsense girl, used to dealing with all sort of crap, having lost a twin sister in a car accident and taking care of her sick mother during her formative years.

After selling pretty much everything she’s got to pay for medical bills, Blaire goes to Florida to get some help from her father who has remarried. Once she reaches her destination, she founds that her father has left for Paris and the nearest thing she has to a relative is Rush Finlay, her (sort of) stepbrother she has never met or heard of. Rush is very hot, very rich, very popular with the ladies he’s a womaniser, unwilling (or maybe unable?) to settle down. Reluctantly, Rush offers Blaire to stay in a small room in his house (her father and Rush’s mother Georgiana live in Rush’s house). Rush’s stepbrother Grant is glad for this because he’s a happy-go-lucky guy, while Nannette, Rush’s stepsister is actually quite bitchy about the whole situation and Blaire in general. Rush’s terms which govern Blaire’s residential situation change on a daily basis, because he’s eager to have her stay.

Blaire gets a job at a country club, serving drinks to golfers. She manages to earn quite a sum on tips, having a skimpy uniform and ample bosom.

There’s instant attraction between Rush and Blaire, which develops and grow over time. Rush adamantly tries to curtail the attraction. They live together, make attempts at friendship, something they soon fail at. Inevitably, they hook up, because Rush simply isn’t strong enough to resist Blaire and the attraction they share.

When it seems that Blaire and Rush are gonna settle their differences and that their story will come to a happy ending, pending Rush’s explanation of his initial reluctance, things do not go as well as planned.

Blaire wakes up to realize that her father Adam and his wife Georgiana (Rush’s mother) have returned from their trip. She overhears a conversation revealing that the angry and vile Nanette is in fact her stepsister. Before meeting Blaire’s mother, Adam was in a relationship with Georgiana who was pregnant with Nanette. Adam decided to leave Georgiana to start a life and eventually a family with Blaire’s mother. He lied that Georgiana isn’t pregnant with him but with some other guy (I think Rush’s father, I’m not sure).

So. Ok. Adam left Georgiana who was pregnant with Nanette to be with Blaire’s mother and then, after the death of one of his twins, he abandons Blaire and her mother, and Georgiana takes him back. Georgiana has three children with three different guys. I think. Or is it two? I dunno.

Rush knew all this and it was the reason why he did not want to get involved with Blaire. His sister was horribly hurt by the lack of a father in her life and she in part blamed Blaire and largely her mother for this situation, and he felt for her, being something of a surrogate father to Nanette.

Blaire was very upset by the turn of events and the fact that everything she thought she knew about her family and about her life was in fact a lie. She’s especially pissed off at Rush for not telling her the truth. The night of the confrontation she sits in her truck and leaves to return home to Alabama. Rush follows her to try to fix things. Unwillingly she agrees to talk to him, and they end up spending one last night together, because she cannot be with him after all that has happened.

If you want more, there’s plenty of it – PLENTY OF MORE.

If you want to know what I think, you can read it on Goodreads.

Grey & Steele Do Hollywood

To say that I am not a fan of the 50 Shades of Grey (book) would be an understatement. Still, I’ve watched the movie. Call it masochism or using every opportunity to get self-righteous, but there, I did it.

The movie transfers the book to the screen almost perfectly. Dialogue swerves left and right with no rhyme or reason (reminded me of The Room on more than one occasion). The motivation of the characters is completely mysterious and baffling and the effect does not seem to have absolutely anything to the with the cause.

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Dakota Johnson is perfect as Anastasia Steele. She has that clueless look about her and she stares stupidly at Christian just the way I’ve imagined it while reading the book. Dakota’s Ana is flustered, all over the place. At one point she’s all for some power play, and then she’s this empowered woman who will not be pushed around.

Y so funny?
Y so funny?

Jamie Dornan is a decent Christian Grey because throughout most of the movie he lacks definition (not talking about his muscle tone, that’s acceptable) and he seems to be a guy controlled by an invisible string and not by any recognizable human desires or emotions. He fails at a couple of instances and exhibits smidges of a third dimension, but not enough to diminish the adherence to the book. He’s also good in showing that one of the most important parts of Grey’s personality is actually a joke to him, even though it causes great social and emotional pain. For instance whenever he asks Anastasia to obey him, he slips in a smirk or something, showing that he doesn’t really mean it that way.

One thing that the movie does better than the book is sex. But that really isn’t difficult. However, even in the movie there’s no chemistry between the protagonists and the hotness level is pretty much down there with the one in the book (minus the need to answer the question: What he fuck? Does she have three legs or something?).

Maybe the biggest fault with the adaptation is the fact that we don’t get an opportunity to experience the rich internal life of Anastasia Steele where things like Holy crap! and Holy cow! come into play during intercourse. I think that they should have introduced a third character (the movie just pretends to have more than two characters, just like the book) called Inner Goddess. Imagine that! Anastasia and Christian are talking and …. PUFF! Inner Goddess appears and does some idiotic dance.

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All in all, 50 Shades of Grey, the movie, is all it can be. If you don’t agree, consider this:

It was based on a book which was based on an AU fanfiction (partly written on a mobile phone) about the characters from young adult novels about glittering vampires and werewolves, whose main protagonist has a blank stare and is unable to close her mouth.  

Blackberry is mightier than the sword
The Blackberry is mightier than the sword

So, haters gonna hate, but if you were given a job to make a movie which was supposed satisfy millions of fans, this is how you would do it. Myself, I’d have probably hired James Spader to play Mr. Grey, having in mind that me being in charge of making any movie is as likely as James Spader rejuvenation.

One good thing came from this experience – I remembered that I haven’t seen The Secretary in a while and I remedied that immediately. You should too.

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Barely Lethal (2015)

As soon as I’ve seen the trailer, I knew that the possibility of me enjoying this movie was high. CAUTION alarm buzzed immediately. Unfortunately, expectation often leads to disappointment  when these kind of movies are involved.

However, I was not disappointed. The movie is good. It’s funny and fun, occasionally it’s smart. Jessica Alba actually doesn’t suck and the level of clichés is just about right. A real guilty pleasure, if stories about a teenage assassin turning normal teenage girl are your cup of tea.

The “assassin” part is rather refreshing and it gives the story we have seen so many times just what it needs – a nice little kick.

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Another perk – we get to see Sansa Stark do stuff, which is always a welcome change in my book, regardless of the context.

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This homage to one of the best movies ever didn’t hurt my appreciation of the movie. (Isn’t this girl so freakin’ cute???)

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If you know what I’m talking about when I mention Get Over It, I’m quite sure you’ll enjoy Barely Lethal. Also, if you don’t think that watching Mean Girls is a waste of your precious time, but is actually fun in a mindless sort of way, you should probably watch this movie.

Terminator: Daenerysys

  1. Do you want to watch a mash-up of Terminator and Judgement Day?
  2. Do you want to see a chubby, cute Sarah Connor unable to shoot a gun properly because her bewbs are in the way?
  3. You do not require something new, original or noteworthy?
  4. You want to see J. K. Simmons in another role not worhty of him?
  5. You’re dying to see old Arnie beating the shit out of young, CGI Arnie?

If you’ve answered YES to at least three questions, proceed to watch Terminator: Genisys.

Genisys is not new. It is not good. It is not bad. It’s …-ish. It’s not as bad as Jurassic World but the reasoning behind it is the same: Let’s make the same movie(s), try to stir those emotions you have for the original movies by using suggestive music and motifs that get you right in the feels. The thing is, they actually do pull this off a few times.

Because, unlike Jurassic World, the Terminator has a member of the original cast and they know when and how to use the trn-tn-tn-tn, trn-tn-tn-tn. And let’s face it, the fact that they were unable to replace Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn is not really surprising. It’s understandable.

The story is, shockingly, focused on time-travelling to save one Sarah Connor and stop Skynet from nuking the world. Again, shockingly, there are some major disruptions in the timeline. Also, shockingly, we get to hear Arnie say “I’ll be back.” They don’t really do anything new. There’s kinda a new terminator, but he’s not really all that new, more like a fancy T-1000. Skynet is sometimes referred to as Genisys, which is sort of new…ish.

All that being said, I cannot resist a bit of time travel…

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Just in case you did not get the point…

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One question remains to be answered: If 1991 Linda Hamilton was Sarah Connor in Terminator: Genisys, would it be good?

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